Handling our community conflicts

Roger Fisher is the world’s leading thinker on negotiation and conflict resolution. He is Professor Emeritus of Law at Harvard University and Director of the Harvard Negotiation Project. Roger Fisher helped both the ANC and the National Party Government improve their negotiating approach and skills. He contributed significantly to our miraculously negotiated settlement. Roger co-authored the best book yet published on negotiation: Getting to Yes – negotiating agreements without giving in. It has already been translated into 20 languages and has helped millions of people turn adversarial haggling into constructive joint problem solving. And it’s not aimed at the academic world – it’s written for you and me.

Why do I think Roger Fisher’s insights are relevant to us 17 years after the start of democracy? Well, one just has a look at how much social conflict is currently taking place at the community level to get the answer.

If I use my own village as an example, it is an incredibly cosmopolitan cauldron of contesting cultures and interest groups. Consider our rich diversity of nationalities and cultures: English, Irish, Scottish, German, Dutch, Swiss, American, Afrikaner and African. We also have different racial and economic groups: black, coloured, white; unemployed, working people, middle class and an affluent class. Each of these groupings has its own legitimate interests and a fair number of them have conflicting interests.

A proposed development in what has historically been viewed as communal area is a classic case of conflicting interests. It is a strip of land that many of the poorer community use for grazing for their cattle and horses, while others love walking their dogs there. When the possibility of a new development on this communal land emerged, some groups focused their attention on the job creation opportunities; others on the increased business that could be derived from extra people and services required for the extra houses; others focused exclusively on the environmental impact of this development; and yet others focused on the impact on the currently strained infrastructure, the property market and so on.

Which of Roger Fisher’s many insights are most likely to help us handle these and numerous other conflicting interests? Let’s “cherry-pick” a few.

First insight: “separate the people from the problem!” We all know how difficult it is to deal with a complicated problem without misunderstanding each other, getting angry or upset and taking things personally. Well, Fisher’s advice is to deal separately with the problem or issue in a rational, problem solving way, and deal with the people relationship as an issue worthy of its own focus. Recognise that emotions are perfectly normal and natural, so make them explicit and acknowledge them as legitimate; allow people to let off steam and try not to react to emotional outbursts. Not easy to do! In fact, it’s something I find constantly challenging as certain people have an uncanny knack of hooking me. But when you manage to separate the people from the problem it really works like magic.

Second insight: “focus on interests, not positions!” Imagine two Greytonians quarrelling in the library. One wants the window open and the other wants it closed. They argue about how much to leave it open; a slither, halfway, three quarters. No solution satisfies both. Enter Judy Terry our librarian. She asks one combatant why she wants the window open: “To get fresh air” She asks the other why he wants it closed: “To avoid the noise from the main road traffic” Judy gives it a seconds thought then opens the window in the adjoining Bryan Thomas room, allowing fresh air to flow through but from the quiet side away from the noisy main road. Their stated positions (open or closed) were irreconcilable; but their underlying interests (fresh air and relative quiet) allowed for a mutually acceptable solution. That’s the value of focusing on interests rather than on positions!

Space allows for only one more insight from this world-class thinker, now in his late 70s. It comes from his recent 2005 book Beyond Reason and it reveals his humility and humour. Roger describes a “fight” with his wife Carrie. They had two bunches of roses which, he thought, were for friends they were visiting. En route they bumped into another friend and when this friend admired the flowers, Carrie offered her one of the bunches. Later, Roger expressed his irritation that she had not consulted him first as he had an emotional investment in the impact the two bunches would have had; and also because one of his principles is: “Always Consult Before Deciding” or ACBD for short. Carrie thought about this and countered: “The problem with ACBD is that it often means NGAD – Never Get Anything Done!” Roger conceded; she was right. There is indeed a balance between too much unilateral deciding and too much time spent on consulting. So, he agreed to a modified motto put forward by some of his students: CCBD, or Consider Consulting Before Deciding” And this motto can be safely applied by all of us in all but the most urgent cases.

Lest you feel that Fisher’s insights sound a bit like “be nice to others”, let me assure you that he very firmly rejects simply being nice to an aggressive and attacking person or group. If you give in to unreasonable demands in order to “be nice” or improve the relationship, your aggressor will simply demand more from you next time. So, another invaluable piece of wisdom is that we should always have a BATNA, or a Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement. If you want to buy a house try to make sure that you have identified a viable alternative to the house you are attracted to – otherwise you are vulnerable to paying too high a price for it.

A final thought: our differing viewpoints and legitimate interests are the stuff of the social tapestry within South Africa. How we handle conflicts arising from them is sure to be smoother if we take on board the insights of a specialist thinker like Roger Fisher.